Guten Nacht, Reisen Auch
by raistss
Summary: AU, post-episode 22
1. Chapter One - Denial

**_The summary thing is broken and pissing me off._**

Summary: AU, post-episode 22 - Four years before Eren was taken into the Recon Corps, Levi and Petra had a daughter. Levi struggles in the aftermath of the 57th expedition beyond the Walls. Rated T for possible thematic elements, language, and descriptions of graphic violence.

A/N: So, yes, I have gotten into Attack on Titan. And before I watch episode 25 I'm posting this. Was inspired by this picture: post/56146403176/they-picked-out-a-big-red-scarf-t hat-wasnt-as which is actually de-aged!Eren but whatever. Enjoy the feels. The title is supposed to be Good Night, Travel Well in German but idk if it's right. Was listening to the song when I wrote it.

* * *

In Peony Ral Rivaille's youth, seeing her mother and father was a rarity. She was often babysat, as Levi, Petra, and the rest of his squad went out beyond the walls, exploring the dangerous world chock-full of Titans. She didn't yet grasp that they could easily not ever come back.

Levi reflected on all of this now, his face forcefully expressionless as he shifted his weight onto his other leg, the broken foot he'd suffered throbbing with pain. He found himself unable to look at the girl who stood beside him, tugging on his long black coat. She was dressed in black as well, a long dress that looked out of place on her pale skin.

She had Petra's eyes and nose, and her hands were as petite as her mother's, too. Levi's fist clenched as a wave of emotion swelled up in him, despite how well he could school himself into what most people thought was apathy. He tried not to listen as she asked him, "Where's mommy? Where'd she go?" in her soft little voice.

Although he had (reluctantly) ordered the bodies to be dumped, thus leaving almost nothing to bury, the Recon Corps had arranged what was meant to be a funeral anyways. The surviving bodies were buried, and the rest were honored. Despite being told to be careful with his foot, Levi stood. He'd refused a chair when it was offered.

Peony continued, begging and pleading, until Levi couldn't take it anymore. He gazed down at her, his blue-grey eyes dark, before kneeling down to face her completely. Her honey-colored eyes were glazed with threatening tears, and he could see his haggard reflection in them. People watched in silence as Levi struggled to form his words, his voice cracking immediately.

"Mommy's gone, Peony," he whispered, grimacing as her face twisted into confusion. "She's gone and she's not coming back for a long, long time."

"When will she come back?" Peony asked, hope shining in her eyes.

"I don't know, honey…" Levi trailed off, his own eyes burning with unshed tears now. He knew it wasn't a sign of weakness, to cry, but he still forced it back. His hand shook as he reached into his pocket, clutching the patch for just a moment before taking it out. He'd wanted nothing more than to give it to the soldier grieving over his lost friend after the expedition, but some selfish part of him kept it in his pocket.

Now, he held the emblem in his hand, watching for just a moment as Peony's eyes skipped over it in interest, recognizing the symbol from Levi and Petra's uniforms. He held it out, letting her take it in her small hands. She ran her thumb over it, flipping it around for a moment. Her eyes met his, her face quizzical.

"That was mommy's," Levi said, flicking his eyes down. He couldn't look at her, guilt stinging in his chest. Peony held the patch closer to herself, and Levi couldn't help but notice that she had Petra's innocent and caring personality. He'd always gotten comments on how stubborn-willed she was, and the fiery spirit she'd learned from him, but any comments about anything from her mother were about her appearance.

Levi forced himself to stand. He noticed Eren, who'd obviously been trying to stay out of sight, watching the two guiltily. Despite everything, Levi couldn't be angry at the kid. He had been the one to tell Eren it was his choice, anyways.

* * *

It wasn't that Peony didn't know Petra was gone, it was simply that she didn't understand death. Levi didn't have the heart to try to explain it, so he didn't respond when the girl asked when mommy would be back. He simply changed the subject or asked her to help him clean. Since he was on medical leave, he could spend more time with Peony now, but he didn't know how he'd survive.

Peony's red-brown hair and honey eyes always felt like a punch in the gut when he saw them. He and Petra had been planning to get married, soon after the 57th expedition. The two only pushed it off for so long _because_ of those expeditions, as they would've liked to have been wed long before Peony's birth.

Petra's father telling him about her letters after their defeat had been absolutely brutal for Levi, as everything he'd known about her was solidified in his head. He'd never taken her youth for granted, but it was still lost despite everything he did. His head swirled with these thoughts as he viciously scrubbed away at imaginary filth, Peony trying to get his attention somewhere else in the house.

Levi was more than aware of his frightening need to be clean, as anything overly filthy would often make him physically ill. Unfortunately, it only worsened when he was alone or emotional (which was typically a rarity.) Petra had often had to pry him away from the cleaning she often found him doing when he was having a bad day, sitting him down with a fresh cup of tea or coffee and making him tell her what was bothering him so badly.

He wished for that now, as he could not tell himself to stop.

He could only clean, scrubbing away the filth and guilt and anger he saw.


	2. Chapter Two - Anger

Summary: AU, post-episode 22 - Four years before Eren was taken into the Recon Corps, Levi and Petra had a daughter. Levi struggles in the aftermath of the 57th expedition beyond the Walls. Rated T for possible thematic elements, language, and descriptions of graphic violence.

A/N: I actually wrote this like two weeks ago. Anyways, I do apologize if this seems out of character. Levi is a really hard character to mess around with, guys. He really is. o_o

* * *

Although Levi was off-duty due to his injury, his presence was still requested for the Recon Corps' tactical meetings. He wasn't given an early warning, however, and therefore couldn't find a babysitter, so he wound up bringing Peony along. Too exhausted to worry about his appearance, he threw on a simple white shirt and black slacks. Peony pulled her tiny double-breasted jacket on over her pajamas, but Levi didn't comment.

She held Petra's patch in her tiny fist.

The two of them walked, Peony rambling on about the things she saw and thought, commenting on the buildings, people, and flowers. Levi limped alongside her, half-listening to what she said and offering the occasional response or simply a "mhmm." He wasn't buried in his thoughts, which were  
strangely absent, just tired.

As the HQ came into sight, Peony went quiet, staring up at the castle in awe. Levi noticed her eyes brighten in excitement, feeling her hand squeeze his tightly.

"Daddy, that's where you work? That's the biggest castle I've ever seen!" she squealed, her energy contagious. Levi couldn't help but let a grin cross his face, chuckling at her response.

"Yeah, that's where the Recon Corps have settled down for now. Wait until you get inside, Peony." His stomach knotted slightly at the prospect of seeing_ their_ rooms again, as nobody had gotten the chance to sort through the squad's leftover things, to send back to their families. It was likely that he'd have to do it.

Two soldiers stood guarding the doors, more for protocol than anything else. They stood tense, arms raised in salute. "Corporal Rivaille," one greeted.

"At ease," he replied, a little irked at the sympathetic expressions on the soldier's faces. They relaxed, and the one who hadn't said anything glanced down at Peony, openly confused. _They didn't know_, Levi realized. Peony grinned at the soldier, beaming with joy.

"Hello, sir!" she exclaimed. Levi kept quiet, calculating the situation.

"Good morning, little lady. Is the Corporal your Daddy?" his voice was genuinely curious. Peony nodded in response, her smile widening.

"Yep! Daddy's the best Corpo-Corporal, in the whole wide world!" she stumbled on the word for only a second, recovering before Levi could interject. The soldier glanced up at him for a moment.

"Yes, I'd say so. He's also very busy, so I won't keep him waiting, alright? I'll see you later," he replied, standing up and pointedly meeting Levi's gaze. "She's a good kid. Got your eyebrows and face."

Levi raised an eyebrow at that. "Yes, she is. And I'd never noticed."

The soldier smiled at him, stepping aside and letting the two through. Peony gazed around in wonder as they passed through the main hall, which Levi noticed was rather dusty. He took in a disdainful sniff at that. They'd obviously been slacking without his constant presence. Candles dripped as Levi and Peony passed through the long hallways, passing countless wooden doors.

The flickering flames set Levi on edge. He wasn't sure why.

* * *

Levi sat at a table, alone with Peony. The others were once again late. He couldn't help but let his thoughts wander as he stared at the four empty chairs lining the table. Levi didn't know why he sat at this particular one, in the same old spot at the end that he had always sat in, imagining Petra, Erd, Auruo and Gunther sitting where they'd always sat. Peony, ironically, sat in Petra's seat.

He grew angry as he remembered her. It wasn't any kind of anger he'd ever felt before. Levi found himself upset that she'd died, that Peony was left without her mother. The memory of her, crushed against that tree, flashed before him and he let out a harsh gasp, gritting his teeth and gaining Peony's attention.

"Daddy?" she asked, frightened. He glanced up at her, seeing Petra's blood-covered face instead of his daughter's. Levi squeezed his eyes shut, massaging his temples in discomfort. He could control himself, he'd done it before, and he knew he could now…but the anger wouldn't burn itself out,  
and he felt guilty for being angry with Petra.

He only grew increasingly livid as a result.

Eren chose that exact moment to arrive, walking in to find the older man hunched over the table, fury glinting in his blue-grey eyes as he clenched his fist, the other hand aggressively kneading his forehead. The younger noticed Peony, grimacing as he quickly put the pieces together.

"Hey, Corporal…" He was hesitant, but he didn't repress the flinch that came when Levi's eyes flitted over to him. Eren walked over to the table, watching as the Corporal's eyes followed him. Peony seemed to forget about her father for a moment as Eren took a seat next to her.

"Hi! Who're you?" she asked, exuberant from all the new people she was meeting. Eren paused for a moment, glancing over at Levi as if for reassurance, which he did not get, before speaking.

"Eren Jaeger," he replied. "I work with Corporal Levi." He didn't address him as her father, as he realized he could be jumping to conclusions.

"Cool," she whispered. "I heard about you from Daddy, but he calls you bad names." Levi looked embarrassed for a moment. "Oh yeah, I'm Peony," she exclaimed, remembering she hadn't introduced herself. She held out a little hand, grinning, and he shook it gently.

"It's nice to meet you, Peony," Eren said. He let go of her hand, noticing that she was holding something in her other. "What's that?"

"Oh, this?" Peony held out the patch. "It's Mommy's," she said, and Eren felt guilt coiling in his stomach. He didn't look over at Levi, but he could hear the other's breath hitch.

"Ah...I see…" Eren trailed off, unsure of what to do now. Peony brushed her fingers over the wings on the patch, her face eerily calm. The look in her honey eyes resembled Levi's typical expression as she began to speak, her voice soft.

"Everyone tells me Mommy is an angel now, that she got her wings. But I hope she comes back home…she wouldn't just fly away from me and Daddy…" Peony's face was downcast now, and Eren felt his chest ache. He briefly recalled his own mother, standing at the sink, the sun bright on her  
skin. Some part of him still believed she'd be back one day, there to hold him as he cried and brush the tears away.

Levi, too, tried to remember his parents. His father had died when he was only three, scouting out beyond the Walls. The Recon Corps hadn't had much power back then, and rarely came back with any information. He'd always wanted to join, but as he struggled through life in the outer Walls, he  
convinced himself it was a childish thing to want. He learned to smuggle and defend himself through unreliable friends, and eventually found himself kicked out of the house. His mother simply couldn't stand his behavior.

She died from an illness several weeks after. Levi had only felt anger, and recalling it didn't help his current mood one bit. He snapped at Eren.

"Why did you have to bring that up, Jaeger?" His voice was low, his tone threatening.

"I'm sorry," the younger replied. Peony glanced from Eren to Levi and back, worried.

"Yeah, sure you are, brat. Don't you realize how many times I've had to save your backside? I'd appreciate it if you considered my feelings before talking about something like this." Levi could hear himself saying this wasn't how to deal with this situation, but the anger pulsing through him blocked it out. Eren was silent.

"Why didn't you fight? The choice was yours. It wasn't necessary to transform while I was with you, but why didn't you do it when I wasn't there – when the Female Titan decided to _kill my entire squad_?" His voice cracked as the full extent of what had happened finally hit him. Eren was speechless, his blue-green eyes wide. Peony wore a similar expression.

"Daddy…?" she asked, her face crumpling in her distress.

"I'm fine, Peony," Levi snapped, standing up and shuffling out of the room with difficulty. Eren sat, dumbfounded. He'd never seen the Corporal so wound up before. As far as he'd seen, Levi was unfortunately used to the things he'd suffered through.

"Where's Daddy going?" Peony asked Eren.

"He's just blowing off steam," Eren sighed. "He'll be back."

* * *

The meeting had gone well, as far as Levi was concerned. He admittedly hadn't paid much attention, still calming down from his outburst. Peony whispered things to him throughout, and he tried his best to focus on her, actually letting out a few giggles from her attempts to cheer him up.

Levi and Peony walked back home afterwards. He could feel the strain he'd been putting on his foot, but he couldn't stand the thought of being completely idle. He'd never truly spent a day of his life off of his feet; as the 3-D Maneuver Gear required top physical condition and constant muscle training. Hanji and Erwin had tried to convince him to at least take a horse, but Levi was as stubborn as ever.

Petra had been fairly stubborn, too. She would've forced him back into bed, bringing him his meals and whatever entertainment she could find for him. He'd fallen ill once before, which was why he knew this. When Petra's mother had fallen ill, she'd done the same for her, taking personal leave to care  
for her.

As the two made their way into the house, Peony chattered enthusiastically about her day, leading Levi into her bedroom and finding a clean pair of pajamas. He listened from outside, as per her request, gazing at the crude drawings and neat paintings that adorned the walls.

Levi figured he'd be alright. He had survived this day.


End file.
